For as long as I can remember, I’ve always wanted to be a cartoon character (either that or Agent Mulder from The X-Files). For a significantly shorter amount of time, I’ve been aware that I have a face that makes me look like I hate everybody around me. These two things have shaped who I am.

Because science has not advanced far enough to be able to turn people into cartoons, I decided to take matters into my own hands. Combining those two attributes of mine, I created my alter ego, Bitchface McBee.

She is a bee person (a bee? a person dressed as a bee? no one knows) who is constantly bothered by people around her asking why she looks the way she does. I feel for her. As a human person, I, too, have to answer to things like, “Are you okay?” “Why do you look mad?” or the occasional vomit-inducing, “Smile.”

Bitchface McBee is me, but cooler, because she says what’s on her mind instead of nervously giggling and running away like I tend to do. One day I hope to be just like her.